Coping

Today, I met a mother who came to get an educational assessment for her child, to test for any learning disabilities. The school the child is in recommended it. This child reminded me so much of a younger myself. 

I'm not saying I have a learning disability - I haven't been formally tested and diagnosed. But it is not impossible. My scores were always below expectations. My note books/homework books were mostly empty (you have to see them to believe how little I wrote). I was sooo slow in writing in class. My handwriting sucked in exams (that was a trick I learnt to use). I was and am a slow reader - I skip words, and if they repeat (like names), I just convert them into symbols in my head instead of reading them. I still have trouble spelling - so much that I avoid using big words in any written communication. I'm not competent in any language, (it's embarrassing really); even my English is restricted. 

When I was young (going back about 25 years), learning difficulties, ADHD were not problems schools recognised. If you were a problem child, you were lazy, disobedient, stupid, inattentive, naughty or just a bad person. Teaching then focused on punishing errors - not remediating them. If your notes or homework were incomplete, you missed lessons while you were sent out of class to complete them. If you were unable to read well, you were made to read more in class - that embarrassed you and dented your confidence. If you made spelling errors, you had to write the words thousands of times, effectively learning only how to complete the "imposition" instead of the intended spellings. If your grades were low, you were physically punished until you fell sick - once again leading you to miss class. If you didn't know your tables, you were ostracized. You were prohibited library, music and games periods, essentially depriving you of means of teaching yourself or providing something to look forward to. All-in-all, instead of learning, you ended up with lesser teaching and more hate for words or numbers.

I think I was smart enough, so I learnt to cope. I learnt how to communicate well with a limited vocabulary, tricks to write my exams in such a way that I didn't fail, ways to hide my inability to spell. To count tables on my fingers. To make myself look intelligent. I always feel I've missed out on so many skills just because I didn't have someone to each me how to learn them. I am grateful for spell check and calculators at the touch of a finger. But think of how much more someone like me could have possibly done with a little help.

It is heartening to see that school systems and, more importantly, SOCIAL systems are changing now. The focus is on helping students learn. On taking off pressure when possible. We now try to understand why a child is having difficulty with something and try to find a different way for the child to learn. Sometimes, we try and get them exemptions (I'm not a fan of exemptions. I believe you should work towards giving the child that skill) - from maths, or languages, or whatever is affecting them most - just to make things a little easier. We may not be there yet, but we are getting there.

The key to remediation, however, is early recognition and intervention. I cannot stress how important this is. We need to spread awareness. We need to catch the problem in the child before s/he begins to dislike reading or maths, before their confidence is beaten down, before the child is defeated. All that child needs, is a different style of learning. The earlier a child is taught his/her style, the faster s/he will cope. 

For early intervention to work, we need to equip our teachers to recognize these situations. We need to open the minds of our doctors that a child may not "grow into it". (They may grow into it, but what's the harm in giving a little help early?) And parents! And as a society in general, we need to accept that learning difficulties are real. It doesn't mean your child is stupid - it's more like s/he is a little short and will need that stool to reach the book on the top shelf. Now there is nothing wrong with that, is there?